I’ve been thinking about forgetting things, I’m on a medication that makes me forget what my toothbrush is, if I’ve flushed the toilet, what I came to do downstairs, I want to call out to one of my friend but I’ll run through many names before getting to hers. It’s funny on good days, less so on long days. It’s not everyday and it’s not SO bad, but it’s there. I don’t know if it’s the medication’s effect or the seizures’ effect (is it forever then?) but I have some memories I really wish I could access but can’t. How I met my current best friends, what was my relationship with this girl in school before we became actual buddies, how come school let me do 2 subjects at 17 (instead of 3) – how did I ask for it, how did they reply? Read more
I’m a reddit user, mostly lurker, been on there a couple of years. I’m also a StumbleUpon user and yesterday I came across an article (from yet another website) picking out a few quotes from an askreddit thread. I liked it, and because I haven’t been writing in a while and I haven’t posted anything online, I thought I’d share this.
I like StumbleUpon, because its literally what it says on the box, when I tell someone about an article or a video or a picture I found, I often say “hey i stumbled upon (inner chuckle) on this article, check it out”
I kinda like all the quotes chosen in that article, there’s none that stand out to me a lot, I just want to save this article so I can come back and read those quotes in the future.
What a title eh? Well, it’s what attracted my attention. I’m not Christian, but I’m taught to treat neighbours well; don’t hoover at 10 pm and don’t argue at midnight (though that one is a bit more tricky). I apologise to all my neighbour in this completely useless way as they will probably never read this. That title attracted my attention, what could it be about? I like challenging, emotion-triggering titles like that. Outrage me with this title, make me pick up your book and demand explanation of this senseless title! The size of the book was also eye-catchy, even though it’s hardback, it’s lighter than most paperback, it’s tiny, truly pocket size, I pick it up and flip it over.
“What would happen if we never talked about immigration again? If we treated a person’s geographical origin the same way we treated their star sign? Well, we’d all be a lot happier, for starters…”
I’m continuing my story… In August, me and my family went on a one month holiday back to our home country. I was ok, my skin wasn’t constantly itching. I wasn’t using liquid paraffin anymore but emollients that were a bit more…life friendly since about July. The flight was bearable, we had wing seats though but there are some nice pictures if one can look past the huge metal wings… This trip was booked months ago, in March or so and I hadn’t been unwell – I was looking forward to working hard, making it through my 3 months nursing placement and then relaxing for a whole month on a tropical island. Read more
I remember in my mid teen coming to term with apologising, how much strength it took, how to do it right, not to say “…but…” after saying sorry. Not giving excuses, just apologising, just genuinely saying sorry to whoever and taking whatever it was that needed to be taken responsibility of. Sometimes you’ve done or said something wrong and you say sorry for that. Sometimes you acted like a jerk, and you apologise for that. I often try to say WHAT I’m sorry about, to add meaning to it (I’m big on meaning). Sometimes I can feel something isn’t quite right but I’m not sure what, so I say sorry; or I ask if I’ve done anything wrong.
The courage needed to say sorry is real. But recently I came across something that opened my eyes to how much courage is needed to forgive. Read more
I’m a dreamer, (can you come up with an opening cheesier than that?) recently I had to say goodbye to someone important to me. I felt it was the only way. I couldn’t do anything for that person anymore. I couldn’t bring them happiness; what I gave them was a facade of happiness, an illusion, a break from life of sorts. But i know there’s real happiness out there, it’ll be richer, deeper, brighter, greater; it’ll be awesome.
I can only hope, pray, beg for them to find that tru-er happiness. And I will be patient. Patience is a great virtue, I’m a believer, I believe I’d get great stuff out of exercising patience. The pain will pass, and in my true dreamer fashion, I dream of brighter days, bluer skies, vivid colours everywhere. Happiness. For both of us.
From April 2015 till now (December 2015) a lot has happened. I’d like to say what I’m writing isn’t complaining. But I’m not sure. I don’t want to make anybody sad while reading this. I just want to give an insight. These illnesses were strange. I’d rather you be inspired or fascinated by the following few posts, I’m well now, and this is life, this is what happens. I can only learn from it all, grow from it, gain from it. I will hopefully internalize these experiences and learn many things, grow and strengthen my character, gain empathy, understanding, a feeling of peace with the world; not anger at things I can’t help. I will look beyond what happened, at what I CAN LEARN here. Otherwise, this would just be a wasted experience. Read more
My mum bought two bags of parsnips. That’s about 1kg and they’ve been a fridge a few days. Parsnip isn’t a vegetable we eat regularly and I couldn’t think of a possible application for it from my previous cooking experiences. (I am no expert cook, I just try and gather carbs, protein and veggies in a decent-ish edible thing and throw in whatever smells good from the spice cupboards. (yes with a S, I’ll explain in another post maybe))
Faced with lack of knowledge and being in the 21st century, I turned to google. Read more
…A very long time and a lot has happened. I see my last post was about starting university. Well I started. I feel like telling you I’ve quit as well, but I think it’s important for me to take a moment to elaborate that year – well those few months, Read more
The evening before I was due to start university, I found myself chasing my brother with a dictionary to throw at him. I tripped and fell on the carpet. Got back up, picked up the dictionary and threw it at his hiding self.
Later, I felt a burning pain in my knee, as I looked, I realised I had skinned myself. How nostalgic, it looked exactly like something you’d get from falling over while playing outside with your friends during a common summer day. That stinging pain that wouldn’t relent…every step reminded me of the pain, and of childhood.
This event made me think, even if I’m going university, I should hold on to my childhood, to all the good of it, as much as I can and as healthily as possible; the innocence, being carefree, the raw feelings, the honesty, the sense of justice, the wonder at every little thing, and so much more.
And here I was, 20, on the eve of starting a degree, with a scraped knee.
It’s been a few days now, and I was just thinking today…did we stop running and skipping easily because of the invisible weight that ended up on our shoulders? are we literally weighted down as grown ups? I think that isn’t good, however many responsibilities we have, however many worries, however many engagements, I want to be someone who can still skip and run just because. To be honest, I don’t remember the last time I skipped around, but I remember the last time I’ve just wanted to run the last stretch of the walk home, just to get there faster, just coz I’m going home. That was two days ago. and I didn’t run.