If we were pieces of puzzles – 12/07/2016

If we were pieces of puzzle, we would start off as square blocks of one colour in childhood, able to fit in mostly anywhere, with anyone. Slowly slowly we start taking shape and earn our particular and distinct shape. I am 22 and after this summer my close group of friends of 5 years will all be married. This has never been problem for me, I have no desire to marry in the near future, but as I’ve mentioned previously, I’m a third culture kid. In puzzle words, I’m…maybe a middle blue piece of sky, could fit in many many many difference puzzles, a plain piece that can mistakenly be put anywhere until all the pieces find their rightful place. I think this is what’s happening, this close group of friends, they are all from one culture, looking at the culture and lifestyle puzzle, they all fit. We were pieces of puzzle they hung out together, hanging in the same box, getting along, but slowly slowly the pieces are falling in place, and I’m not part of this puzzle.

I feel like after this summer life will be very different. I may be wrong, it may be the medication playing with my brain chemistry, making me see things darkly.

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and now an attempt at poetry. It’s was supposed to be in the shape of a puzzle. Maybe one day I’ll draw it out properly. (Don’t look forward to this). It has to be a picture because of the formatting.puzzle pieces.JPG

 

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The opposite of Love

If I were to ask you, “what’s the opposite of Love?”, would you reply Hate?

 

I think it’s a common (in my opinion, mistaken) belief that the opposite of love is hate. I’ve talked about love before, a long time ago (I may have to revisit that blog and maybe write an update…) but for now, I want to talk about Hate.

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The shiniest stars have the darkest shadows

shiny

This might be bleak and depressing but the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows (and even rainbows require rain but I’m getting sidetracked here).

I’ve come to believe that all those great people who are most liked, who are admired, who are looked up to; who stand out from the rest, touch hearts and make break-throughs had something in common, (I’m sure there’s more than just one thing, but I want to talk about one and that is:) they had dark times and the darker those times were, the greater they’ve come out the other side. Read more

Emotional Energy

I’ve recently supported a friend through some tough time and it drained my energy. I see my emotional energy like one of those energy bars in games. The only way I feel that I get it back to full is by sleeping. If I don’t sleep I can function, but not properly, I go about my day in this daze or fog or I go into this hyperdrive move until I’m able to get in some sleep, have you ever seen a toddler or little kid very hyper active when they’re exhausted? They’ll giggle and mess about for no reason and then BAM pass out? That’s how I feel. Read more

Amnesia, forgetting things

I’ve been thinking about forgetting things, I’m on a medication that makes me forget what my toothbrush is, if I’ve flushed the toilet, what I came to do downstairs, I want to call out to one of my friend but I’ll run through many names before getting to hers. It’s funny on good days, less so on long days. It’s not everyday and it’s not SO bad, but it’s there. I don’t know if it’s the medication’s effect or the seizures’ effect (is it forever then?) but I have some memories I really wish I could access but can’t. How I met my current best friends, what was my relationship with this girl in school before we became actual buddies, how come school let me do 2 subjects at 17 (instead of 3) – how did I ask for it, how did they reply? Read more